I miss deadlines.
I miss story meetings. I miss bull sessions. Most of all I miss daily assignments.
Don’t get me wrong. I still love working from home. I love being here for all the Dude moments. I love not having to cover car accidents and shootings… but I don’t love the constant marketing required of a freelance writer.
When I am working on an assignment I am a multi-tasking mamma. I’m making phone calls, transcribing interviews, doing research, writing drafts… all between doing the banking and picking the Big Dude up from school.
The days without a deadline, however, loom large and long. Suddenly the laundry starts overflowing or the dirty dishes call to me. The Husband should be able to tell by now how my work day has gone… if the house is clean, I am in a slump… if it looks like a bomb has gone off, I’m being highly productive.
Today is a neat house day. I swept the floor and did five loads of laundry. I also did the dishes. I did not tackle the long to-do list I have going in my office. It is not for a lack of ideas, I have a list of great ones right here at my elbow waiting to be crafted into well-written pitch letters and sent to the appropriate editor or client, it IS that I procrastinate.
Can I blame it one being shy? Can I claim rejection as a child has now made me fear it as an adult? Is that a total cop out? Yes!
I was at a leadership training session for community volunteers recently and the presenter was summing up the types of leaders. There was the facilitator and the administrator and the producer… I am a classic producer. Give me a deadline and you’ll have it done without question… without one I tend to run in circles.
These days I’m getting dizzy. I can’t even convince myself to finish this blog post (I just took a break to clean up the army the Transformers were amassing on my living room floor and wipe the crumbs off my counter).
Now, if you’ll excuse me. The beds need making and dining room table really needs polishing.