I’m going to try a new experiment today… one I’m not entirely comfortable with but, hey, this is about creativity right? I haven’t been feeling too creative lately, hence the lack of posts. Too busy and just too tired, I guess.
A friend and colleague over at LisaMac’s Musings has been doing some stream of consciousness writing. She takes four words and writes whatever comes. She game me four words so… here goes.
I think its the moments of genuineness that make motherhood so special for me. My kids stop me in my tracks when they halt their play or their snack for a moment and look up and say ‘Mommy, I love you.’ There is no pretense in these moments. Just a simple need to say what they are thinking. Growing up means growing filters and learning about deception. I think it is what I will miss most as they get older. This simple reflection of who they are and what they want. That genuine nature may very well be expressed it in a tantrum (not my favorite way to spend my time) but it is still just raw, genuine emotion. Too many of us lose that as we age, and I think that’s too bad.
I am having trouble with this word… and, to be honest, I am breaking the stream of consciousness writing rule that you are not supposed to self-edit. I have deleted partial paragraphs too many times already. I have thought about ditching this project a few times now because it seems to hard.
I think honesty is a very difficult subject. We are taught to be honest as kids and we teach it as adults, but all around us are examples of dishonesty. The celebrities we admire are caught lying on a daily basis, the politicians we vote for specialize in partial truths, even our parents tells us to be honest but then tell us or themselves lies. As mothers we talk about the important of loving ourselves but then most of us consistently put our needs last and many burn out because of it. We are a society built on deception. Many western countries were founded upon the idea of freedom and democracy, and then women and native people and people of colour were refused basic rights. As our society changes, the lies we tell morph into new lies but the basic underlying principle is the same. We tell half-truths and deceive. We’re told our water is safe and our food is safe… but it’s not. Cancer causing carcinogens are all around us: in the pesticides, in the run off that goes into our wells, in the rain the nourishes our fields. I, honestly, don’t know what to think about the world in which I am raising my kids to live.
I am proud to be part of an organization that I can say I believe is run with integrity. As a volunteer with the local Military Family Resource Centre, I find it incredible that I work with people with such integrity and passion for what they do. I was going to write about the lack of integrity in society these days, and I do believe there is a lack of it (whether from a lack of passion or from dishonesty, I don’t know) but then I thought of our MFRC staff. I have rarely been inside an organization where people believe so strongly in what they do. I guess that is the advantage of working in a not-for-profit but the effect is quite startling. I’m not saying that passion and integrity solve all the world’s problems, or all those of an organization either but feeling that energy can go a long way toward making meaningful change in the world.
Mothers are the masters of disguise. Our personae are as varied as our job duties. One moment we are the confident organizer leading a class trip and keeping track of 20 or more kids, the next we are a compassionate teacher or strict disciplinarian. I am continually surprised at how demanding and how varied this job really is. I wonder what a prospective employer would say if I put ‘mother’ in the job experience section of a resume. It is a job that requires flexibility, creativity, patience, passion, strength, endurance, teaching skills, organizational skills, diplomacy, planning and project management skills and ,of course, the ever necessary driver’s license for extensive chauffeur duties. I wonder if they would hire me?
Okay, that was hard. Lets try some more writing starts next time. I’m still looking for more words… comment away!