I’m going into withdrawal and I haven’t even started yet.
After months of feeling generally unwell, I braved my first trip to the naturopath.
She is a very nice woman. She makes a lot of sense.
It seems the vast majority of my symptoms over the past decade can be caused by a systematic overgrowth of yeast.
However, the solution to my problem doesn’t have me feeling a lot of love towards this very nice doctor… I’m sure she’ll be the focus of much mislaid blame over the next six weeks.
It’s nothing personal but she has put me on a Candida diet, also known as the yeast-free diet. Do you have any idea what a yeast free diet means?
First of all, and most tragically, it means no booze. Seriously, how am I supposed to parent without a glass of wine (or three) at the end of the day?
It also means no cheese… now I am the woman who will happily forgo the cheesecake or chocolate mousse after dinner but roll a cheese cart past my table and I will start to drool. I love cheese. I dream of cheese. Brie, Blue, Swiss, Gouda, a nice aged Cheddar, Havarti… but I don’t stop there, I love the more obscure ones like Wenslydale, Gruyere, Cambezola and my favorite… Dragon’s Breath. Are you sensing an early withdrawal here?
Also out are yeast (obviously), fruit, sugar, processed foods, peanuts, mushrooms, condiments, coffee, tea and smoked meats.
This is going to suck.
On the up side… if I don’t gnaw off my own leg from hunger, I should lose a lot of weight.
The hard part, other than the obvious, will be feeding the family and myself. I don’t use many processed foods but suddenly having the possibility taken from me is overwhelming. I ordered pizza for dinner tonight, just because I could (I start the diet tomorrow – after book club and some wine).
So, after a few glasses of wine and a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, I embark on a mission to a healthier me. In general, the yeast free recipes I have found online suck so I intend to experiment and share my successes and failures. Anyone trying to live yeast free is welcome to offer advice or just commiserate, I’m open to all takers.
For now, I’ll go cry in my yeasty beer, while I can.