I’ve been in a mental fog for a while now.
It has meant I’ve had trouble concentrating and getting motivated. Like right now, I’m having trouble focusing on what I want to write.
I’ve tried a number of ways to drag myself out of it and I’m finally having some success. The change, however, is not coming from where I had expected. The change to my mental state has come as I change my physical surroundings. As I have previously blogged, I am determined to reclaim the backyard I have hated since just after we moved in. It’s big yard with terrible grass (using the word grass is pretty generous in this case) and lots of neglect. With fours years of pregnancy and babies, the yard has grown wild and deteriorated to a pile of weeds and dirt.
I am pleased to say I am starting to make some headway. There is still a lot of work to be done but we’ve torn down crumbling structures, fixed the fence, torn out a lot of weeds, fixed pathways and patios and even planted a few things. Last night, I was actually able to sit out by the fire pit and enjoy the evening. I take the kids out to play during the day and have fun with them and I feel good.
I also feel good about the changes I’m making to my own physical appearance. I have lost 20 pounds since January and am fitting into clothes I haven’t worn in years. I’m becoming a firm believer in the idea that fixing the outside has a big impact on the inside. The days where I shun the mom uniform and try looking a little put together, those are the days that I can sometimes fool myself into feeling that I actually have it together.
I’ve always been told that when you feel overwhelmed start with the little things, the big ones will follow. Maybe it’s true.