I know you’re receiving a lot of letters this time of year, and if they are anything like Big Dude’s letter this year it must take forever to read them (please ignore everything on his list past the first dozen or so), but I was hoping you might take a little time to task your elves to help a needy population of parents… those of us military spouses living through deployment this year.
I mean, its all very nice that your helpers in malls and at Christmas parties are giving away candy canes and chocolate like the calories might make their parents max out their credit cards, but trying to get bedtime accomplished bymyself with the Dude on a sugar high and my one tiny remaining nerve not yet whined or complained into a state of numb exhaustion is not exactly helpful.
I can’t promise I have been good this year. I can’t even promise I’ve been completely sane, but my children are still here and that must count for something doesn’t it? If you see me when they are sleeping you already know some days I sink blissfully in the bathtub and try to ignore the world, you also know that other days I cry from not being able to be both mom and dad to the Dudes. Its not all ‘nice’ but it is necessary and that is what gets us through the day.
I do have a few requests:
- Could you suddenly introduce a ‘poke’plauge to strike down all Pokemon everywhere? No need to cause heart ache, just a short and to-the-point note to the boys about the Pokemon needing years of uninterrupted rest and telling them an immediate recall of all Pokemon cards, toys and games is necessary. I’m sure your elves can whip something up that will satisfy the kids and the parents. Little Dude tells me Santa can do anything.
- Speaking of elves… I think its rather selfish to share these kind hearted souls who only exist to bring joy to the hearts of many. I don’t think its unreasonable to broaden their horizons in the off season with a few field trips. Think of the joy they’d bring if they snuck in to wash my floors at midnight – okay who am I kidding, I’m still up at midnight folding the day’s laundry, how about 2am? Maybe they could whip up a little dinner and leave it in the fridge as well. If they can get around Apple’s protectionist practices to make millions of iPods for children they can certainly handle a little light housework.
- Lastly, as the social highlight of my evenings is reading Harry Potter with Big Dude, I would really like a Room of Requirement installed in my house. You know what I’m talking about, that magical Hogwarts room that appears already equipped with whatever the user needs… it could be a bathroom that no one can enter but me, a place to talk on the phone but no one actually realizes you’re missing or a repository for the massive amounts of clutter that appear daily (and are currently reaching dangerous proportions). If you had one at the North Pole it would be an excellent place to send all those Pokemon I was talking about.
I wish you the best for your big trip this year. It’s a pretty tall order to bring joy to all on one day of the year. We’re lucky this year. Our joy will be coming home for a visit thanks to Air Canada (though after the flight he may not feel too grateful – you’re lucky the reindeer spare you the Air Canada experience) but there are many other families like ours who will have to wake up Christmas morning with a piece of their family missing. Spend an extra few moments at those houses please. Maybe a little of your magic will warm their hearts enough to find a little happiness for the season. Please remember that naughty is a relative term… the angry child may be feeling lost or abandoned, the sullen child may be sad or worried and that tantrum may just be a bid for the attention he so desperately wants from the one person he can’t have right now.
I leave the usual cookies and eggnog Christmas Eve… no rum this year, I drank it all after the last attempt at getting Little Dude to stay in bed. Please do me the courtesy of putting your own dishes in the dishwasher… its a miracle I haven’t chucked the china or paper plates already.
Love this military mom.
Oh, and PS… could you put in a good word with the local liquor store? If they offered home delivery I bet you’d find us deployed mummies and daddies can be jolly too!