I have missed my husband.
It seems strange to say that since it was only yesterday he left town, but missing him has been going on a lot longer that just this trip. With a teenager and two young boys, it’s easy to loose each other in the chaos. It was only recently we re-discovered ‘us,’ even if it was only for a few hours at a time. We went on a date.
It was wonderful. We spent two hours, on our own, playing pool. I don’t think I’ve pick up a pool cue since before I had children so I was a bit rusty but, the bar was almost deserted and we got a real chance to talk. It was also nice to know he was nearly as rusty as I. Sure, we still talked about the kids but we related to each other as husband and wife, not as mommy and daddy, and that small perspective change made a huge difference.
We’ve managed to do this twice in the last six weeks or so. The first time we had loads of fun. We took a cooking class which, as a class, was terrible (taught by the cook at the local hospital, we should have known!) but, as a date, it was wonderful. We spent the evening snickering in the back of the class like misbehaving teenagers. The cook may have hated us but we had a ball. I haven’t smiled that much in a long time.
Two dates is not nearly enough but it has started to change my perspective and pull me out of the tunnel vision I see developing. Motherhood can be all encompassing. Sometimes it can be hard to see past the next diaper change, but my attempts at re-discovering the person I am beyond the global title of ‘mommy’ helped shake me up. It’s good to know I still am that person I remember fondly from years ago. It’s also good to know the person who falls into bed in exhaustion next to me at night remembers that too.