Things I learned this summer:

  • Don’t step in a gopher hole… it’s a conspiracy and the little buggers are out to get us.  They are after us one stupid broken foot at a time.
  • Hauling babies and car seats and laundry and backpacks and extra wipes/diapers/snacks/juice/clothing/toys for six years does not mean you have any upper body strength.
  • I really need to loose weight… hauling around my own fat arse (even if I had lost that 20 pounds) on crutches sucks!
  • Putting on spanks while wearing a cast requires feats of contortionism as yet unseen in even the weirdest of circus freak shows.
  • Taking off said spanks after a wedding and a few drinks (well, maybe few is the wrong word but we’ll go with that for now) is only slightly easier.
  • Hotel luggage carts make for a comfortable ride home. 
  • Giving an 11-year-old a sharpie and a blank casts means there will be no room left for anyone else to write anything.
  • Struggling through the West Edmonton Mall Water Park on crutches just because you feel some misguided need not to miss the family vacation ‘fun’ is stupid – and causes freakishly purple toes when said crutches give way on the wet floor, causing a rather spectacular dance move reminiscent of the Electric Slide. 
  • I am not graceful.  Crutches do not help that fact.
  • Going down the stairs on your ass looks like a good idea… until you have to find a way to get upright again.
  • Wheelbarrows also make for a comfortable, if somewhat dirty, ride home… though the driver probably should be sober if you attempt this mode of transportation.
  • People are either remarkably helpful when they see you struggling through a door with crutches and two young children… or they will stare at you like they are driving past a particularly gory car crash and make no move at all to help.
  • Breaking this damn foot will not get the best of me and I will salvage what is left of this summer… if it kills me.
This entry was posted in 20lbs, exercise, lifestyle, motherhood, physical activity. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Things I learned this summer:

  1. cpm says:

    I seriously laughed out loud when reading #4 and 5! You are too funny!

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