Resolve Update: Getting Better

I swept the floor three times today. I’m currently on my fourth sink of dishes.

My day began at 4 am with the Little Dude waking just as The Husband left. He eventually went to sleep but made sure I did not. My day will not end until I pick up The Girl from her dance at 10:30.

I’m exhausted.

I also feel oddly exhilarated. I’m not saying I can handle every day as a single parent, in fact, I still feel like that would just about break me, but I feel like I am somehow getting better at this.

I’m not sure I’ll ever master this parenting thing (and I’ll never believe someone who says they have) but maybe I’m starting to get a handle on me. I had a long week. The Husband was busy. The Girl was busy. I hosted an impressive number of play dates and managed a trip into a city for a doctor’s appointment and a writing conference. My house got away from me but I’m starting to clear through the dust. I lost my temper a few times but apologized and got past it. I even managed to make muffins (twice), something I haven’t done in a long time.

I think I’m learning that there are good weeks and bad weeks. There are days where the patience is just a little thinner and that’s okay. There are other days that make up for it. The resolutions seem to be sinking in (not the 20lbs one, that’s still solidly sticking to my ass). I’m learning to breathe. I’m learning gratitude. I’m learning to find, or if necessary to take, a little peace in my day. That’s helping me remember that I really do like mothering and I really do like running this family and to a lesser extent this house (I can try but I’ll never love cleaning the bathroom!). I’m learning to get through a day retaining a little joy in my heart. For now, that’s enough.

Time to go. I just noticed the floor needed sweeping yet again… you’d think I was a clean freak but those of you who’ve been to my house know that is far from the truth, it’s just this family manages to create an astonishing amount of dirt and debris!.

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