Freedom….?

Wow… two kids in school.  Well, one is in pre-school but it is still two kid-free mornings a week.

Why don’t I feel more freedom?

It is simply incredible how quickly that time fills up with other things.  I promised myself I would not work those mornings as I desperately need a little alone time.  I promised myself I would go to the gym once a week (giving myself no excuses and no option to reschedule, maybe for once I’ll be able to make it stick).  The other morning was supposed to leave me free to do errands, have coffee, volunteer in Big Dude’s class and just take a little time for myself. 

How is it then that nearly every Tuesday morning for the next two months is already booked up?  Whether it is doctor’s appointments or volunteer work or other commitments it seems my precious time to myself has been swallowed up.  I feel a bit of whiplash wondering how that happened.

I know, intellectually, running a household of five people with busy schedules makes for a busy Mommy.  I guess I just hoped I’d finally have a little down time. Many would see my weekly trip to the gym as a luxury.  I, however, liken it to a trip to the dentist (which is another thing swallowing up one of my Tuesdays). 

Enough griping… time to look at the bright side.  Doing all of these errands and appointments without kids will be easier and more efficient.  I can’t count the number of trips to the bank or the post office that would have been easier without the dynamic duo so I guess I need to take my solace in that.

The fact is, my kids are growing up.  I taught them the confidence to face the world without Mommy, even if it’s only a little while.  Perhaps I need to do the same for myself.  Life is full of commitments and responsibilities so it’s time for me to face them without the Dude and save my down time for when the get home from school.  Playing superheroes has to be better than a long bubble bath… for now at least.

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