It’s raining outside. It’s dark and it’s cold. It just doesn’t feel like Easter.
The Bunny arrives in three days (Big Dude is on a countdown) and I’ve got nothing.
Oh… the bunny will visit with all the requisite treats (if I don’t eat them first) and the freezer is packed with baking for the family gathering, but this whole sense of hope and new beginnings that is Easter is supposed to symbolize is eluding me.
I’ve got the reflection (and slight depression) of Lent down pat… I’ve even been sticking to my Lenten promise of active living, but I am somehow stuck in a Lenten state of mind that the approach of Easter is doing nothing to lift.
I have always loved Easter. It’s a time for new spring clothes and outdoor toys and new beginnings. I guess I am on my own new beginning, of a sort, but not one I wanted.
This will be the first family holiday gathering without mom. It will be my first time at the family cottage without her and, thanks to a full house, I’ll be sleeping in her bedroom. It is the room that was my parents’ sanctuary since the cottage was built more than 30 years ago and it will be the task of my sister and I to clear out the traces of my mother and find a way to make it ours.
Spring is about beginning over after a dark winter… I guess that’s what I’m doing, whether I like it or not.
The Easter bunny better bring some damn good chocolate.