Category Archives: death

You can never go home…

I left my parents home for the last time this week.  Saying goodbye seemed impossible.  I found myself literally rooted to the spot in my mother’s favorite chair, unable to make myself leave. It is not the house where I … Continue reading

Posted in cancer, death, grief, mom | Leave a comment

Fighting, literally, through grief.

Wow.  I just had a big fight with my sister… the biggest one we’ve had since we were kids.  Apparently our grief involves yelling at each other. We had a rollicking fight that ranged from guilt to repressed anger to … Continue reading

Posted in cancer, death, grief, mom | 3 Comments

Working through it… or just distracting myself.

Wow… back on the job this week.  I feel like my brain has atrophied. It’s all I can do to get a bit of work done, get the kids in bed and fall into bed myself.  Yet I still can’t … Continue reading

Posted in cancer, death, grief | 1 Comment

It’s okay to cry… but who has the time?

I’ve had some very well meaning advice as I work my way through this period of grief. One of the most common has been that ‘it’s okay to cry.’ True.  It is… but not, apparently, when you are a parent. … Continue reading

Posted in death, grief, motherhood | 1 Comment

Not Ready….

I have discovered there are limits to my emotional stability at the moment. My memory of yesterday pretty much stop late afternoon when I unpacked the family bible.  The rest of the day is almost a blank. After just a … Continue reading

Posted in death, mom | 1 Comment

Going Home…

I’m lying in my bed… or I guess the bed in my old bedroom… on the last night I’ll ever spend in my mother’s house. I have been desperate to leave all week but now that I’m almost going home, … Continue reading

Posted in death, mom | 1 Comment

Cared for by angels…

I think I have forgotten how to take care of myself. In the week since my mother died I have not cooked or cleaned, I have not washed a dish and I have not been grocery shopping. I have merely … Continue reading

Posted in death | 2 Comments

Summing up a life…

I rashly promised to give my mother’s eulogy. When my father died I felt compelled to speak.  I know most close family members choose not to do so, but I saw no other choice.  I assumed it would be the … Continue reading

Posted in death, mom | 2 Comments

Careful what you wish for…

I have no words. The past week I’ve been working through this awful time with words.  Tonight I have none. My mother passed away today.  I expected relief.  Instead there is emptiness. This whole evening the house has been dominated … Continue reading

Posted in death | 3 Comments

The debris of life….

I can’t decide if it is a poignant reflection on a life lived… or just a bad case of hoarding. I spent nearly an hour tonight disposing of a box of used calendars that go back to the year I … Continue reading

Posted in death | Leave a comment