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Category Archives: death
You can never go home…
I left my parents home for the last time this week. Saying goodbye seemed impossible. I found myself literally rooted to the spot in my mother’s favorite chair, unable to make myself leave. It is not the house where I … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, death, grief, mom
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Fighting, literally, through grief.
Wow. I just had a big fight with my sister… the biggest one we’ve had since we were kids. Apparently our grief involves yelling at each other. We had a rollicking fight that ranged from guilt to repressed anger to … Continue reading
Posted in cancer, death, grief, mom
3 Comments
Working through it… or just distracting myself.
Wow… back on the job this week. I feel like my brain has atrophied. It’s all I can do to get a bit of work done, get the kids in bed and fall into bed myself. Yet I still can’t … Continue reading
It’s okay to cry… but who has the time?
I’ve had some very well meaning advice as I work my way through this period of grief. One of the most common has been that ‘it’s okay to cry.’ True. It is… but not, apparently, when you are a parent. … Continue reading
Posted in death, grief, motherhood
1 Comment
Not Ready….
I have discovered there are limits to my emotional stability at the moment. My memory of yesterday pretty much stop late afternoon when I unpacked the family bible. The rest of the day is almost a blank. After just a … Continue reading
Going Home…
I’m lying in my bed… or I guess the bed in my old bedroom… on the last night I’ll ever spend in my mother’s house. I have been desperate to leave all week but now that I’m almost going home, … Continue reading
Cared for by angels…
I think I have forgotten how to take care of myself. In the week since my mother died I have not cooked or cleaned, I have not washed a dish and I have not been grocery shopping. I have merely … Continue reading
Posted in death
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Summing up a life…
I rashly promised to give my mother’s eulogy. When my father died I felt compelled to speak. I know most close family members choose not to do so, but I saw no other choice. I assumed it would be the … Continue reading
Posted in death, mom
2 Comments
Careful what you wish for…
I have no words. The past week I’ve been working through this awful time with words. Tonight I have none. My mother passed away today. I expected relief. Instead there is emptiness. This whole evening the house has been dominated … Continue reading
Posted in death
3 Comments
The debris of life….
I can’t decide if it is a poignant reflection on a life lived… or just a bad case of hoarding. I spent nearly an hour tonight disposing of a box of used calendars that go back to the year I … Continue reading
Posted in death
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