Category Archives: cancer

Learning to walk again…

That didn’t go so well. I did what I promised… my Lenten project of getting the family more active got underway with a walk.  Little Dude and I met Big Dude at the bus with the plan of going for … Continue reading

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A New Lenten Project

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately.  The season of Lent has been fast approaching… in fact, today brings Ash Wednesday, the formal beginning of this time of reflection.  Perhaps I have been reflecting too much. Last year I gave … Continue reading

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Fighting, literally, through grief.

Wow.  I just had a big fight with my sister… the biggest one we’ve had since we were kids.  Apparently our grief involves yelling at each other. We had a rollicking fight that ranged from guilt to repressed anger to … Continue reading

Posted in cancer, death, grief, mom | 3 Comments

Working through it… or just distracting myself.

Wow… back on the job this week.  I feel like my brain has atrophied. It’s all I can do to get a bit of work done, get the kids in bed and fall into bed myself.  Yet I still can’t … Continue reading

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Casket Shopping…

That was an experience I could do without. I went casket shopping. Now… I have come to learn that I am a comfort shopper.  I have never liked to shop but I have learned it is an excellent distraction.  Thankfully … Continue reading

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Saying Goodbye…

I said goodbye to my mother tonight. She’s not there… not really.  The brain tumours and morphine has taken the essence of her, only a confused shell remains.  Still there was something poignant in actually saying goodbye. I feel like … Continue reading

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Wishing for Death…

I feel like a ghoul. I’m waiting for death.  Not with dread but with a sense of anticipation… of needing relief. The last month has been one of the most physically and emotionally exhausting of my life. My heart stops when … Continue reading

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All is not as it should be…

“All is as it should be.” These are supposed to be words of comfort and while they are well meant and I thank people for their concern… I have trouble seeing this whole experience is ‘as it should be.’ How … Continue reading

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Waiting in Silence….

How is it the world seems to keep on turning when for one person it stands still? It seems so strange to hear about snow days and sledding parties when my world is limited to this house and the slow … Continue reading

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On writing… or not writing… in grief.

I have been neglecting this blog rather shamefully of late. It’s not for lack of trying… it just seems rather unfair to inflict my melancholy on an unsuspecting internet public. I read in a column today that a writer’s urge … Continue reading

Posted in blog, cancer, grief, writing | 4 Comments