I had planned to post every day during my Lenten cancer journey but this week I decided to cut myself some slack. I have been parenting solo this week and took all three kids to visit my mom. In light of my current attempts to find a little peace in this crazy life, I took my own advice.
Week four has been about finding some peace within a cancer dominated life. I think I’ve been having some success. We took this week as a vacation and, on the whole, that’s what it was. We did a lot of touring and had fun together. It was trying at times, I won’t deny that, but when I made myself let the bad parts go, I felt a lot lighter.
One day in particular epitomized this theory for me. I had a rough night with the Dudes. They both ended up waking at night and came to my bed at different times. They then slept soundly (taking my pillow, my covers and all but a sliver of the bed) but kept me up most of the night. Most times I love having the kids cuddle with me in my bed… not so much that night.
The next morning was rough. I’d had too little sleep. I was barking at the kids. I was leaning on The Girl to help with The Dudes when she’d rather have just been watching TV. I didn’t have the energy to keep up with the natural high spirits of two boys cooped up in a house that didn’t have all of their toys.
It was then that I decided to take my own advice. I drank my third cup of coffee and tried to let it all go. I reminded myself that there weren’t many opportunities to have quality time with all three of the kids and that I need to take advantage of it.
We headed off to the sugar bush and it was great. The sap was running. The weather was beautiful. The Dudes didn’t have the energy to walk all the way to the sugar woods, but we learned all we could from the interpretive centre and came home covered in sticky maple candy which had been freshly poured on the snow. We brought our big bottle of maple syrup home like a prize and served it over blueberry pancakes and maple sausage for dinner (yes, nitrates, I know but it was a rare treat). All three of us had fun and it ended up being a pretty special afternoon, despite a rough start to the day.
I guess the lesson I am learning is that sometimes I really just has to be mind over matter. We all have rough days or just rough moments… the trick is to make the good ones count. I may get cancer tomorrow… or when I’m 65… or maybe never, but if I approach life with the attitude I took this week, I don’t think I’ll leave many regrets.