I haven’t been posting much lately… something my regular readers have obviously figured out.
I haven’t found much inspiration.
It has been astonishingly easy to loose myself in the daily stressors of family, children and caring for an ill relative.
We’ve just come through Thanksgiving here in Canada yet for much of the week preceding the holiday I found myself nearly incapable of feeling grateful. The frustrations and cruelties of the world are far easier to feel than gratitude.
I did however find inspiration within the chaos. Thanksgiving Sunday we packed the whole family, including all seven grandchildren, off to church. Little Dude refused to go to the nursery so I spent the service chasing him and constantly admonishing him to ‘use you whisper voice.’ Not surprisingly I heard almost none of the sermon. In fact, I really only heard one snippet. It was a one-off comment intended to get a laugh, but it stuck with me. As far as I can figure, the man was preaching about gratitude in unlikely places. The only thing I really heard was a comment about being grateful for the person who sings off key because it means he still has his hearing.
It garnered the laugh intended and Little Dude continued on his merry destructive way and I lost the plot of the sermon again. However, the brief comment made an impact. It helped me find my gratitude again. I am trying finding the positive within the seemingly overwhelmingly negative.
- I am grateful for the leak I found in the bathroom ceiling. With The Husband away I was forced to empower myself and find the great value in my dear friend who dropped everything to help fix the problem.
- I am grateful for having to rip out my newly painted ceiling because of the leak. The unexpected demolition did good things for releasing my stress levels.
- I am grateful for the incessant whining that seems to emanate from Little Dude while his brother is away at school. It means the two have forged a strong relationship and he missed his big brother.
- I am grateful for the tantrums that occur when I try to leave the Dudes with their sister or father so I can escape for a little while. It means they love me and still need me.
- I am grateful for long waits in sterile doctor’s office because it means I, or my family members, are receiving the care they need.
- I am grateful for my taxes because it means that care is there when we need it and we won’t be facing medical bills that could bankrupt us.
- I am grateful for the long hours of travel needed to care for ailing relatives because it means I am needed and that I can spend more time with those I love.
Finding the gratitude isn’t easy but I am working on it. That, and my attempt to get back to daily yoga, just might get me through the day.