I have decided to stop complaining about my backyard and finally do something about it.
The space is not particularly kid friendly… or mommy friendly for that matter. First of all it has an above ground pool, which means the kids can’t play out there without close supervision, but it is also high maintenance and has no shade. In the hot summers of the Annapolis Valley, that means it’s not a particularly great place to be.
The kids like it. They like anywhere they can run and play with balls. I just don’t like it. I was pregnant with The Boy when we moved in and every summer since I have either been pregnant or caring for an infant. That hasn’t left much time for fixing a broken fence or caring for the deteriorating grass or the high-maintenance rock garden, we haven’t even had time to clean up some of the junk left by the former owners.
I’ve begun to view this sad looking yard as a symbol for my life. Since the Boys were babies I’ve been caught up in just holding on while I go careening through the wild ride of motherhood. Any semblance of control has been a thin illusion ever since that first double line on the pregnancy test. It’s not just my rock garden that has become overgrown and tired looking. It’s my life.
Perhaps that’s why I’m becoming a little fixated on my yard. The boys are getting old enough that they can play independently – at least for short periods – maybe that means I can have a little independence too. I don’t ever really expect to get control over the grass (here in the Valley lush green grass only comes with the use of many toxic chemicals which I am not willing to use) but maybe if I can reclaim this space and make it somewhere I want to be, somewhere I want to invite my friends, maybe I’ll feel like I have a little control over my life. It’s a good theory at least.
Now to work… anybody want some Irises from the overgrown four foot wide clump that needs dividing?